Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
