I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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