i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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