you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
someone owes me an orgasm
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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