i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
