For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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