Welp...herpes.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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