So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
