She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
