just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
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