His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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