The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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