I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
