I wanna passion pit in your ass
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
