im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize