How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
