She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
