forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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