Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
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If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
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I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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