Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
