I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
