When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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