he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
