I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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