Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I don't deserve a penis
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
