i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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