I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
