I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it's like heaven, but drunker
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
