What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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