New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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