i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
