Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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