just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
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