Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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