brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
