i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
