Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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