Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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