Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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