so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
