Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
