Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
