i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I need to align my fucking chakras
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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