I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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