You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
