i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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