we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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