i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
two words...techno handjob
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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