That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
