im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize