i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
