Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
