If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
