sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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