hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
