Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My vagina is officially offended.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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