My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My penis needs a shock collar
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
