what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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