so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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