I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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