is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
