i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
